We all fall down.......

This is how my life has been feeling the past few days. First the fall out with one of my friends that I blogged about here if you missed it. Now my life seems to be following in this same pattern.
As tradition in our house the day after Thanksgiving is always decorate the house for Christmas day. Christmas is my favorite holiday by far. I love the trees, the music, the specials on tv, all the lights and everyone (well almost everyone) being happy and jolly. Not to mention the cooler weather. Not that we get much of that here in the south, but it is a good break from the heat and humidity. So like always Friday we got up and headed to our local big box hardware store to pick out the perfect tree. We got it home, got all the lights and ornaments on it and set up all the other house decorations. This took almost all day. I was exhausted by the end, but so happy that my house was all decorated and smelling like fresh cut Christmas trees! By now it is about 8pm and I am hungry, so I go into the kitchen to warm up some leftover Thanksgiving and I hear a big crash. I run from the kitchen to the living room, and low and behold my tree is laying on the floor with broken ornaments, pine needles and loads of water all around. Did I mention that I love and collect ornaments for every important life event and have for many years now. Of course I scream for my DH and he comes running. We lift the tree up and survey the damage. We spend the next hour trying to get to tree to stay up to no avail. It seems the stand is just not going to do its job. We decide that we need a new stand but now it is after 9pm and no one is open. So we lean the tree back say a quick prayer that it will not tumble over, and I collect all the broken ornaments to try and piece back together. Luckily the next morning the tree is still standing and we got a new stand and the tree is now in its rightful place. Most of the ornaments were salvageable and none of the really important ones were destroyed. Lesson learned.
Then on Sunday we got out of bed and I let the inside dogs out to go to the bathroom. Once they are back in, I go to let the outside dogs out of their pens to run around. Since Stinky (our French bulldog) is always the last one inside the house once I let the outside dogs out I stood at the back door and turned around to make sure she was following me inside so I can get breakfast started for the dogs (feeding is a production in my house). As I am looking around the back yard for her I see Bossman lying on his side. It takes a minute to register that he is not rolling and that something is very wrong. I scream for my DH (I know lots of screaming for one weekend) and I run over to his side. He is rigid and his pupils are huge and he is shaking. He was having a seizure, which he has never (that either of us know of) ever had a seizure. Of course I start crying and my poor DH doesn't know who to deal with Bossman or me. Luckily he is pretty much coming out of it by this point and is back up and acting like his normal self. Me not so much. Unfortunately with my background as a vet tech the first thing that runs through my head is that the cancer has spread to his brain. I know the vet said if it was going to spread it would be fast, but this is so fast. He had surgery less than a month ago. Less than 4 months ago we didn't know anything was wrong with him. So needless to say this was not a very good weekend. I have put in a call to both his regular vet and the specialist to get their opinion about what to do now. I just don't know.
Oh and did I mention that I threw up this morning. COME ON almost 18 weeks and still vomiting!

Happy (late) Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
I didn't get a chance to get on here yesterday as I was attached at the apron strings to my kitchen preparing the Thanksgiving feast. Which in turn wore me out and then I didn't have the energy to get on here. Man I didn't realize how tiring growing another human being can be. So I had a nice long sleep last night and I am raring to get my Christmas decorations up. It is a annual tradition in my house to put up all the decorations the day after Thanksgiving. I am sure that will all change once the baby is here and I am out with all the crazies (I mean that in the nicest way possible) on Black Friday trying to snag the newest, hottest toy for the little Nugget. Before I leave you to decorate decorate decorate I just wanted to share what I am thankful for this holiday season. I am thankful to be pregnant with my little nugget. After the miscarriage I thought it would be so hard and stressful but really I have had a great feeling about this pregnancy from the beginning and for that I am eternally grateful. I am grateful for my family and friends. I am so happy that we could all be together for the holiday and spend time together. I am also so grateful for my wonderful husband. He is the best and I could not have asked for a better father for my child.
Okay off to decorate. Pictures to follow of course!

What's happening with Judas week 17




Your baby's skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical cord — her lifeline to the placenta — is growing stronger and thicker. Your baby weighs 5 ounces now (about as much as a turnip), and she's around 5 inches long from head to bottom. She can move her joints, and her sweat glands are starting to develop. ~babycenter


How far along? 17 weeks (wow really?!)
Total weight gain: 3 lbs in 2 weeks. Yikes!
Maternity clothes? yep
Sleep: Not so great, just can't seem to get comfortable no matter what.
Best moment this week: Getting to hear the heartbeat at the dr office (161)
Movement: Nope nothing this week that I can tell, soon?
Gender: still thinking Girl
Labor Signs: Thankfully no
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: Sleep and not feeling sick all the time and actually being able to enjoy eating.
What I am looking forward to: Finding out the sex, 2 weeks exactly!
Weekly Wisdom: Always be thankful for your true friends!
Milestones: Now in pretty much all maternity clothes all the time.

personality conflict

Ever had a "friend" do or say something so shocking that it took you a while to process and digest it? Well I now have unfortunately. I got up the other morning and like always checked my phone to see what messages and emails I had gotten overnight. Usually it is all junk mail, but there was an email from a friend. I was a little surprised since we work together and see each other almost every day that she would email me. Probably a forward or something I thought. Nope. To summarize she said that she had been avoiding me because I am b@%^&y and have a mean personality and she is tired of it.

SHOCK


Then anger of course. I have been nothing but there for this person from the beginning. When she needed help out of a bad roommate relationship, a bad relationship, when her dog broke his hip just to name a few. I have gone to her house to wake her up so that she got to work on time for important meetings, not to mention covered for her with the boss when she didn't get to work until the afternoon on numerous, numerous did I mention numerous occasions. I have gone to her house when her mother called me because she was worried and hadn't heard from her, just to make sure she was alive. Now this friend has some serious mental problems, and she has and is being treated for them. I have been there for all the ups and downs. Helped her keep her job when the only reason that she didn't lose it is because our boss is concerned it will "send her over the edge". I have dealt with a good amount of people with mental illnesses in my lifetime. As my mom likes to say I "attract the crazies". Not the nicest way to put it, but it is true. A good amount of my close friends have had/do have some varying form of mental illness. Not to mention the small amount of training I got for my degree. However none of these other friends have cares so little for me. At least they have been there for me when I needed them, checked on me to see if I needed anything. Not just used me when they needed me, and never asked me if they could do anything for me. I mean saying that my personality is mean is saying I am mean. We all are our personalities right? Sure I have a strong personality, I don't hold things back, if I don't like something or don't agree with something I will tell you. Does that make me mean or b@&%$*y? Just because she has a weak, sad personality doesn't mean I would ever tell her that. It would be hurtful, and it is only my opinion. Plus she had told me before that I am her only friend that gives her sound, practical advice. No more. Not from me. Not ever. I am DONE. Finished. Just because I have a strong personality, and have spent most of my life taking care of others and helping people does not mean I don't need someone to take care of me. WHAT ABOUT ME? It seems like all of my friends are going through downs right now and there is no friend for me to lean on or to help me through tough times. Of course there is always my husband, but what man wants to hear all about your problems all the time. That is what a friend is for. I guess I have one less of those to count on right now. At least my favorite holiday is fast approaching, maybe that will be a good pick me up.

What's happening with Judas week 16



Get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length. Right now, he's about the size of an avocado: 4 1/2 inches long (head to rump) and 3 1/2 ounces. His legs are much more developed, his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren't recognizable yet. He's even started growing toenails. And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop. ~Babycenter

How far along? 16 weeks
Total weight gain: I will find out for sure tomorrow at my appt but I think about 2 lbs or so.
Maternity clothes? Yep much more comfortable. i think I could get away with mom maternity tops but they are so short the band on the maternity pants show.
Sleep: Actually a little better I got a new pillow and rearranged how I am using all the pillows and that seems to help
Best moment this week: I think I felt the baby move! I felt a little "bubble burst" the best way to describe it. Not in a normal "gas" location!
Movement: I think so? Not 100% sure but my mom said she felt the same thing a few weeks before she knew she felt us move.
Gender: Soon so soon less than 3 weeks! Keeping my fingers crossed for a girl.
Labor Signs: Nope
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: This week it is a good foreign beer!
What I am looking forward to: Knowing what I am feeling is the baby moving!
Weekly Wisdom: I wish I had some.
Milestones: I don't know is 16 weeks a milestone?

What is happening with Judas week 15



Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces. She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds. ~Babycenter

How far along? 15 weeks
Total weight gain: Nothing so far
Maternity clothes? Yep pants and a few shirts (I found a great deal at Target on long sleeve maternity shirts!)
Sleep: Actually a little better than last week. The frequent urination has tapered off a little.
Best moment this week: I got to have lunch with a a friend of mine that is a few months ahead of me. It is really fun to talk baby with someone else going through the same thing.
Movement: Not yet, hopefully soon!
Gender: Still thinking Pink, even had a few dreams about it being a girl.
Labor Signs: Nope
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: Sushi and a good beer
What I am looking forward to: Actually looking pregnant.
Weekly Wisdom: My friend told me that we need to start getting our names on the waiting lists for the daycares in our area. I would have never know that if she hadn't have said something. Thanks E!
Milestones: Figured out that it is not possible to wear non maternity pants anymore and be comfortable sitting or eating. Bye Bye regular jeans.

Bossman update and visit to OB

So our dog Bossman has been very sick, which if you follow this blog you know. He has been to the vet quite a few times in the last 2 1/2 months or so. We found out that he has a tumor around his heart, surrounded by his pericardial sac, which in turn has caused him to develop Constrictive Pericardial Disease. At first the specialist said they did not think that surgery was an option for him. Then at our last visit they told us they felt he was a good candidate for laproscopic surgery to remove the pericardial sac so that the fluid that had been building up in the sac could drain into his chest and be reabsorbed in his body. That would at least give him a little bit longer and make him more comfortable. We decided to go with the surgical removal and took him in for his surgery. Because he is an older dog and because he has heart problems already his surgery was considered high risk. Turns out he did not do very will under anesthesia and his heart rate kept dropping very low and beating very irregularly. They had to stop the surgery early, and did not get as big of a window in the pericardium as they would have liked. He is home now and seems to be recovering well. Unfortunately they did some xrays the day after the surgery to see if the fluid was draining like it should, and to make sure it was not backing up in the lungs which can be a complication of the surgery. Turns out the doctor saw a spot on his lungs that looked a little suspicious, and now she thinks the tumor might have already spread to his lungs. This is very rare for heart based tumors to spread but there are a few that do. If this is the case (we take him back in 2 weeks for s recheck xray) there is not anything we can do. :(

His surgery sites. One was for the camera and the other two for the instruments.

He is actually very happy to be confined in the house for at least 2 weeks. He got to take over his sister's crate!
On top of this my mom's dog has been acting strange and losing weight. She has taken him to the vet a few times to have his checked out but the other morning he was really bad. She took him straight in and had a full workup done on him. It looks like he might have cancer of his spleen. So now she has an appt with the same specialist that did Bossman's surgery tomorrow morning to see what can be done for him. Not a good dog month in my house.
On a good note I had an emergency visit to the OB yesterday. Well emergency = not good. The good part was I got to hear the Nugget's good strong heart beat of 160! I went in for some back and abdomen pain I had been having. Turns out I pulled a back muscle vomiting and the abdomen pain is most likely stress related from all the dog stuff. But the Nugget is great!!!! Plus I moved my BIG ultrasound up to the 9th!!!!! I am so excited!!

What is happening with Judas week 14





This week's big developments: Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb! Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him — a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb. ~Babycenter

How far along? 14 weeks
Total weight gain: Nothing, nada, zero, not that I am complaining one bit!
Maternity clothes? yes for the pants but only the ones with the under belly band. The others just don't stay up! Still in prepregnancy shirts
Sleep: Not so great. I either wake up to pee 4 times a night or I wake up because I am laying on my side and my hip is asleep.
Best moment this week: Getting to hear the Nugget's heartbeat (160). Had to go in for an emergency appt but everything was fine!
Movement: Not yet. I keeping thinking I feel something but then I fart and realize it was gas.
Gender: I think Girl or maybe I just hope that, 6 more weeks and we will know!
Labor Signs: I sure hope not.
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: Not having to worry about every little pain or discomfort.
What I am looking forward to: Having people look at me because I am pregnant and actually being able to tell where now they are just wondering if I am a little fatter and trying to hide it!
Weekly Wisdom: Don't expect your DH to care of you are vomiting your guts out, no sympathy there.
Milestones: 2nd trimester Baby!

pregnancy induced RAGE

Pregnancy hormone induced rant to follow:
Disclaimer: Generally my DH is a very good husband he puts up with a lot from me and is generally very understanding and caring. The following is a isolated incident than none the less PISSED me off!
This morning I got up feeling not so great, just in general had a crappy overall feeling. I chalked it up to my raging hormones. I mean who calls their mother at work to start bawling because the don't feel well. Right a crazy, hormonal, pregnant woman ie: Your truly. Not to mention the tail tail hormones signs written all over my face, yep acne like a teenager. I get up, shower, get dressed, take the dogs out and play for a little while and then bring everyone in to feed. The whole time I am doing this the DH is in front of the computer. Now usually if he is off he takes care of these little duties, but he didn't seem ready to remove himself from the computer so I decided to just go ahead and get them done. So I start getting everything ready to feed and I open the container of dog food and BAM. I think holy crap I'm going to throw up RIGHT NOW! As I am sprinting to the bedroom I see my DH out of the corner of my eye. I make it to the bathroom dry heaving, and let it all go. I hear the door Open. Close. I finish up, brush my teeth, wipe the tears off my face, and slowly walk back to the kitchen. What do I find. The dogs calmly staring at the dog bowls and no DH to be found. That is right people he WALKED OUTSIDE! Never mind your pregnant, hormonal wife is puking her guts out over the toilet, and the dogs are waiting to be fed there are more important things to be done. What I am not sure, but I am sure the are very very important. Somehow in my hormonal rage I managed to feed the dogs, with my nose plugged and gagging mind you, and calmly gather my things and go to work. I still have not addressed this since I would like to continue to be married to this man, and at that point I was ready to KILL him. What. is. wrong. with. men.? Not to mention why am I puking at 14 weeks? I mean I have gone the whole time with just nausea and all of a sudden at 14 weeks. So not fair! I need a warm bath and a good cry.

W.T.H.

Apparently I have my own personal welcoming committee into the second trimester. They have come in a group, and though it sounds great, I mean who doesn't like welcoming committee. I could have done without then for a few more weeks at least.



I guess it is not enough to have horrible heartburn, constipation, frequent urination that wakes me multiple times a night which then leads to lack of adequate sleep, acne that could rival a teenagers. Continued nausea, I mean did someone send out the memo that nausea is suppose to be leaving any day now, I think mine missed the bus. Hormonal mood swings that cause me to start crying, or screaming, or both on a regular basis. This is definitely not the surprise I was hoping to get. Especially since I don't even really look pregnant. I guess I would handle them a little better if I could actually have a belly that looked like they should be sporting these pregnancy battle scars.
Plus I had a friend that was suppose to be coming into town to visit me. I haven't seen her in a few months and I was looking forward to a little time together before I am no longer mobile enough to do things. Either from a very large belly or from a very small being permanently attached to me. Needless to say instead of her welcomed appearance I got these little beauties. What a consolation prize. W. T. H.