8w 2d feeling blah

So the elated joy from ultrasound day is starting to wear off and the nagging feeling that this is the "dooms day" week is starting to take over. Of course at my appt both of the OBs that I saw said it is very very rare for you to have a miscarriage after you see a heartbeat, and even though it happened to me the first time they do not think it will happen again blah blah. Yeah I know all of the statistics, but guess what, I happened to be one of the 5% last time. What is to say that it won't happen again. Plus my upper back is really hurting and even though I have read that it is normal to have back pain this early (plus i have a history of back/hip problems) the first thought that popped into my head was, well I guess that means I am miscarrying again. Boo, why is that the first thing on my mind. Why can't I just be a normal, happy to be pregnant, pregnant person? Instead I spend ever minute analyzing my symptoms and waiting for something to go wrong, is it ever going to end? True answer, probably not. 11 days til my next ultrasound, think I will make it that long?

NUGGET!!! 8w

YEA for the Nugget! He/she is still an inhabitant of my womb! HB was 166! Plus we got to actually hear it! Next appt is in 1 1/2 weeks. Hopefully Nugget likes the squishy, warm home he/she has made and will stick around for the next viewing!

The dr appt was really very long. First I had an appt with the ultrasound tech. She was wonderful and gave us the great picture seen above. Then they sent me back out into the waiting room to wait on the dr. I swear I have never seen so many pregnant women in one place at one time! There were not even enough seats. About 1 hour later the nurse comes out to get me and right as I get all settled under my flimsy little drape the nurse knocks on the door to tell me the doctor has been called to an emergency. I end up seeing one of the other drs and at the very end my doctor walks back in. 3 hours later and we are leaving. But to tell you the truth I would spend any amount of time in the office if it would make sure that Nugget sticks around!

7w 6d, t-1 day to the big ultrasound

Tomorrow is our ultrasound and to say that I am nervous is a huge understatement! I just wish it was 10:30am tomorrow.... right..... now. At least I have the whole day off work so that is something to look forward too. I have been having slightly more pregnancy symptoms, the nausea seems to be a little more consistent, although not every day. Still have extremely sore breasts and I think they may actually be getting a little bigger. I have been having some serious heartburn and back pain. The back pain has been really bad. Of course it doesn't help that I already have a messed up back. Still having a slower than normal moving digestive tract and I have been pretty sleepy. Lets not forget the getting up 3-4 times during the night to go to the bathroom (could be a contributing factor to the sleepiness). That part is so fun! I just hope all of these symptoms are pointing to the little nugget having a good strong heartbeat tomorrow. Once we get through that hurdle we will be looking toward getting past the 9w mark and still having a heartbeat. Hopefully then I will be able to breath a little sigh of relief and actual be able to trust that I am indeed pregnant and hopefully am going to stay that way.

7w2d and bossman update

I haven't posted an update in a while since there has not been to much going on in my life right now. I am sitting at 7w 2d and have just started to experience the morning/afternoon sickness. YEA! I am very excited about the prospect of vomiting. Weird as that may seem it helps to calm my nerves about this little nugget. I didn't have much sickness with the last one and I know every pregnancy is different but I really am hoping for some good old fashioned pregnancy induced toilet hugging sessions.

Speaking of that, today is the first day I am sitting at work and just have that lingering nauseous feeling. Yesterday was my first episode of dry heaving while making my cats breakfast. WOOHOO for pregnancy symptoms. I am trying to stay as optimistic as possible until my doctors appt on wed morning. I am so so very nervous for it! My DH is working and can not accompany me to the dr so my mother is driving up to come with me. There is absolutely no way I am going alone. I also have some wonderful friends who have assured me that if I don't have either my mother or my DH to go with me they would love to be there for me. That is a true friend who would volunteer to accompany you to such an embarrassing (well at least the lack of clothing required at these appts) and intimate appt! Thanks girls!

We took our dog back to his recheck appt with the specialist and we got some bad news. It seems that his heart does not look very good, and he is no longer a candidate for surgery. In fact when we took him in she immediately took him off of all of his medications and had to pull fluid directly off of his heart because she said it appeared to be ready to collapse. It has been about a week since that appt and his abdomen appears to be slightly smaller and he is acting like he feels better. She did say we will probably have to pull more fluid off again. I guess at this point we are just going to keep him comfortable and hope that the rest of his life is a good one. This is such a hard thing to have to go through and such a difficult decision to make. :(

Welcome little ones!

Happy Birthday and welcome to the world little Bobby and Maya. PLease head over to Michele and Peter's blog to help them welcome thier little miracles! Please say a quick prayer that they will thrive in the NICU and go home soon!

sick puppy and 6w

I had my second dr appt today. I am 6 weeks on the dot according to my calculations. I was tracking my ovulation by every device known to man so I am pretty darn certain of when this little nugget was conceived. That said we did not get to see a heartbeat. I was sorta expecting that with it being so early in the pregnancy but man was I hoping we would. It would have made me feel a ton better. We did get to see the gestational sac and the yolk sac and they looked normal. The tech that I saw said everything looked "about" the right size for me being 6 weeks. "About"! Could they please come up with something more comforting than about? In the back of my mind "About" now means "well we are not going to tell you this yet but we can clearly tell from these measurements that your baby is surely going to perish and you will never carry a child to full term". She scheduled me to come back in 2 weeks and was even joking that we would be able to see all the little heartbeats then. Really, at this time, NOT FUNNY! I guess I will go with cautiously optimistic at this point. On a good note she was much much nicer with the vag wand! My doctor uses it as a form of torture but she was very nice with it. I guess they teach you that when you actually go to school to be a ultrasound tech!

One of our dogs, Bossman is very sick. While I was away on vacation my DH had to take him to the vet. He was not acting right and his abdomen was slightly distended. They sent him to a specialist since the tests they ran came back inconclusive. I appears that he has a tumor or some sort growing on or around his heart and it is causing not only fluid buildup but also all of his organs to be pushed down. My DH has him back at the specialist as we speak and they are trying to pull some of the fluid off of his heart to give him some relief. He is on a few different heart meds and also a diuretic. I am hoping this helps him. If not we may have to send him for a very expensive surgery to try and remove some of the tumor. This is my DH first dog and he is very upset about it all.

This is the Boss before he got sick.

This is him now, well about a week ago his abdomen has actually gotten bigger, poor Bossman

PA Amishness and 5w4d

I am back from my trip to visit my friend J in PA where her parents live. It was really very fun and a great distraction from life. Our trip started off with my DH driving me about 3 hours to meet up with J and her lovely, large dog Moose for the 10+ hour trip up. Let me tell you this monster

all 130ish slobbering pounds of him and a small mustang and lots of suitcases do not mesh well. He was hitching a ride up to PA to have ACL surgery, no not because he is a football player but because I mean look at him he is one large, clumsy beast!
So give or take 10 hours traveling with a gimp 130lb slobbering beast and we arrive in PA fairly intact. We spent a good portion of our time either gawking at the Amish or admiring the wonderful weather in PA, okay that is what I spent my time doing. No I did not offend any Amish people, at least not to my knowledge, and all the ones we encountered were very nice to us. We got to take a REAL Amish buggy ride by REAL Amish people not the buggy rides people pay to take. J's uncle lives next to a bunch of Amish farmers and he asked if one of their sons would be willing to take us in one of their buggies! It was the highlight of my trip!!!!

So here is J and myself being driven by Steven the Amish boy with Piggy as our tour guide. Yep Piggy the horse, the Standard bred to be exact. I wish my horse was as well behaved as she was! I guess being from the south we don't really ever see Amish people and it was a shock to me, they are everywhere.

We spent a day in Lancaster, which is apparently the Amish capital of the US. We went shopping on the main street. I got lots of Amish goodies, little things for nugget, a quilt for the crib, some booties, hats, bibs and little toys. I got my DH a real Amish hat, and no I don't have any pictures of that. Even if I did I think he would really divorce me if I put those on here for the bloggoworld to see. I don't think I want to raise nugget without a father so you will just have to use your imagination on that one. We meet up with J's aunts at a Amish smorgasbord since they all wanted to meet the "girl that loves the Amish" as they refer to me. I got to have real Amish/PA dutch food. Most of it was fairly good however I did not care for the shofly pie.

We also spent some time hiking around her parents farm and riding her horse, well at least the small one. Her parents have Percherons, Blackie and Bonnie, and then she has a smaller (well compared to them) Arabian mare, Shiloh, that we rode.

This is Shiloh and Blackie taking in some sun, and munching away on the pasture. Bonnie, the other big girl, does not like to come out of the barn until the sun is completely gone, she is very sensitive to the heat in her older age.

Blackie was trying to lure Moose in closer so she could nip at him, she loves to torment the dogs. Of course she will do the same thing to us if we don't watch ourselves.
We went to Chocolate World and did the little free tour/ride and got our free chocolate. We did some shopping while we were there, however we did not go to the amusement park part, I figured not the best idea for the nugget. So this is the general gist of my trip. I had a great time and I would really like to go back when it is cold and snowing. One since we don't ever get snow here but also since her parents have a sleigh for the draft horse to pull and I think that would be awesome!

Nugget seems to be doing well, I guess. My symptoms are not as noticeable as with the last pregnancy, I hope that is not a bad sign. I am not having any of the cramping I had with the last one, I have the sore bbs though not as bad, the constipation, the more frequent bathroom trips, slight nausea mostly in the afternoon/evening, gas and bloating and the sleeplessness. The fatigue just really started yesterday. I really really really did I mention REALLY hope nugget plans on sticking around. We go for our next ultrasound on wed at 6w and the Dr said we will see a heartbeat. I certainly hope so, I don't even want to think about if we don't. I have been feeling better about this pregnancy so that should count for something right? I have been buying nugget stuff, and have even told some people. Granted people I don't really know at all but people none the less. I guess we will see on wed morning! I want to leave you with my favorite picture from my Amish adventure, Hope you enjoyed it!